“It’s
all about the first person you wanna tell good news to.. “
“Goodbye,
let’s meet again”
Even
though you know that we won’t meet anymore.
. 1 sec
. 2 sec
. 3 sec
after
“Hhhhhh…”
Long sigh.
He's just woken up.
Dumby?
He runs
quickly seizing his coat and car key to the place that he merely known where his
girl? will be at.
And there
he is, opens the door while He’s totally gets out of breath as his thumping
heart reacts on what his brain just visualized things happened a moment ago.
And there
again he loses his focus..ignores all those wondering eyes
To that
side profile
To those
messy strands of hair which won't stay put
His
attention stuck to the one who holds that clipboard -writes some info for
renewal treatment- focusly, like it’s
just there.. where her world's at. Isn’t it too selfish? Ah of course. She
just doesn’t know. It is to her those trouble souls were hinging. Count him if
he includes into one of them.. in different way.
How come
someone been that nice without attachment to any emotional vibes? She could
treat them nicely like she’s an angel. Chronically, how come he is the only
exception for that angelic treatment?
Ironic? Exactly. Things which made him wondered if she ever.. maybe by
the chance.. ever fall for someone else? Or is there any guy out there could
vehemently in love with her? …
.
.
.
Like him?
While he alr fall for her in ineffable way? Like there’s no other way to get
rid of it.
.
He
smiles. It’s out of his reach just like
out of his logic.
I don’t
tolerate it, you Dumby.
.
He wants to
reach her.. like any other day, like what she truly means for him, like it is
now or die. It’s just the way too subtle. He’s in a hundred percent conscious.
And that
step will always sticks there. Like if he takes a step closer, she’ll instantly
vanish. Just how he could vividly imagine how it will end if he forces it to
start.
He’s being
a coward until..
I have no idea how it
happened, but I knew it – I want you.. Be my girl, hm?
He did it
after couldn’t help himself craving for her attention, more than what he could
expect for.
He keep
replaying the scene in his mind, thinking he should’ve done it differently. Just
how stupid he was for saying that shit realizing he’s not ready for her rejection,
yet never ready for that.
And here
Even when
she’s standing this close to him, he could barely feel his breath. Thinking he’ll
lose her sooner. But he has to.
"...Hey...."
"H-huh?"
“ You
okay?” he nodded, barely able to speak
"What
ya doing here?"
"Hmmm?"
“Hey look..
it is 2 am now and it is not your best time to be here with those cutie fuzzy
bunny slipper, I guess” she chuckles
Gosh he doesn’t even know why he’s here rn
“Ugh... you
know.. well.. you see it now. “ and that’s probably the awkward smiles that he put
on his face
“Things
were where they shouldn’t be, it was like an aftermath of a war for me. Haha it
was like the story of my life I guess.. you know.. a mess? “
It’s a long
silence as her eyes wondering what’s going to happen.
“Mmm.. the
last time you’re telling me goodbye.. “
She’s
standing still..
“Hey.. I
need you to listen, and listen carefully, love.”
“Hey, look.. my departure is 5 hour from now
on. It is not that I hate you so I gotta go, it’s just.. I’m thinking bout fixing
daddy’s stuffs in Toronto and maybe this too will put an end to your agony. I’m
truly sorry for that. And.. like what
you’ve said before.. I think that’s a good idea to meet new people out there.. “
He forces a smile
“you know..
i just realized, it is unashamed me who sticks you around this whole fckn time“
She smiled—a
faint one
“ you told
me that you’ll never leave me even when I ask you to.. and that “goodbye”, I’ll never mean it that
way.. please don’t go” a tear streams down her right cheek
“hey.. it’s
okay, baby girl! We still have plenty of
time to figure things out even not as a lover, I still love you ” he cradling her in his arms
“I love you and don’t you mind” she nods
“You’ll be
back.. promise me” She gives a space to look at him. She purses her lips as her expression turns into threatening
one. It doesn’t even scares him instead of makin him fall deeper to that – pretending
to be mad- girl.
He smiles. He
put his right arm gently on her left cheek as he softly kiss the other one.
“Take
care..” He pats her head and pushes himself to walk a step as he saying
goodbye. Letting the fate take over his life neither to let her go nor to find a
better one
Then he realizes
No matter how much he try to put himself in
someone else’s, it'll never fits way as perfect as her
#Sedikit
cuap – cuap : cerita ini udah lama terbengkalai dan sama sekali tidak memiliki
keterkaitan dengan saya *jones banget* Hari ini hanya sedikit finishing
kebetulan ada waktu knowin I’d face much greater pressure setelah ini huhu
*aneh kan.. kenapa coba muncul idenya pas lagi kepepet* *gak aneh.. emang
selalu gitu #apasiii* Liburan udah dari 3 bulan lalu loooh :’( Sekarang udah mau
kuliah lagi dan udah pen pulang lagi :((((((((((
Ada lagi
nih, gatau mau nanya atau nggak but it getting stuck in my mind dan jadi
pertanyaan *nahkan jadinya nanya juga* setelah baca suatu fiksi. Gini deh
langsung ke pertanyaan aja
“Jadi, untuk mendapatkan seseorang yang kita
suka, bukan berdasar pada seberapa lama kita menyukai orang itu, ya? “
Kalo bukan.. hmm.. about Kak R? I give up :')
Postingan left handed nya? pending dulu yaa hehe pasti di post kok
so sowwyy :((
Untuk semester baru, it may be hard to understand why seemingly simple things are just so hard to some people *in this case it's me yang dipaksa move on dari liburan* like everything can feel like a high-pressure situation, i'm not being dramatic or what but seeking reassurance *just like what i'm doing now* only makes the urge worse long - term, so resist when you can!
Don't forget to have compassion for yourself, and know even if you're still working on it, you're not alone.
Semangat!
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